I could feel the weight of his
disappointment deep inside as soon as I closed the latch on the door of his
cage. A sensation I can say I have never experienced before from a nonhuman
being. An unusual guilty feeling came
over me as I walked away out of the shelter to go home knowing that I was free
and yet the cat who I played with and loved for the last 30 minuets would be
left behind a cage door without one.
From the moment I first walked into
the shelter I was very unsure about what to expect, unsure about how Misfit
would react towards me, and unsure about how I might react towards him. I
looked around at each cage and as I slowly read the name Misfit on his cage I
was greeted with a big meow and his paw out of the cage door, he welcomed me. I
nervously put my hand towards his small paw and to my surprise he put his paw
in my palm and kept it there. I instantly felt a sensation of not only relief
but also acceptance; as if Misfit was telling me it was going to be okay. There
I was thinking I would be coming to the animal shelter comforting a fearful cat
but instead he reassured and comforted me.
As
someone who never had a cat before and have had few experiences with cats, many
of which were unpleasant, for the first time I was enthusiastic to know that I could
not only reach out to this cat but also spend real time with him. Before I
opened his cage, I took the time to watch him and think about how I would feel
in the cage. I wanted to put myself in his adorable little paws. He was so eager to get out, so eager to play,
and so eager to be loved by me. Despite being locked up in a cage all day,
Misfit was sweet, kind and very lively. He had already done for me in the few minuets
of interaction that I would have ever thought imagined. Misfit was the first cat who wanted to know me. I not only was instantly attached to him, but I was also able to feel sympathy for him and every other cat. How could any being with so much energy be locked up without freedom? How could any being with so much affection towards others be without a home or someone who loves them back? I felt pain and distress for Misfit. I couldn’t help but think he deserves all the freedoms and more that I have.
When I opened the doors of his
cage, he let out another loud meow. I couldn’t help but think that was his way
of saying “thank you”. I was hesitant to
pick him up but he walked right over to my hand once again reassuring me that
he trusted me. How could he trust someone he didn’t even know? I would have a
hard time doing exactly that. Before I realized it Misfit reminded me of my
spirit animal the White Tiger, who always taught and showed me new things. He
soon became impatient with me and was ready to get out. I lifted him up into my
arms and he purred. I was
honored by his purring and held him close to my heart as I carried him to the playroom.
honored by his purring and held him close to my heart as I carried him to the playroom.
During my short visit with Misfit,
I was able to extend my sympathetic imagination to him, something I never
thought I could do towards a cat before. I imagined his loneliness and how he
honestly believed that every person who walked into the shelter would take him
home with them.
I had always been a
dog lover and had an easy time connecting with them and even to other human
beings. I easily felt sympathy for these beings without even trying to. Before
I interacted with Misfit, I had a hard time connecting with cats or even
feeling anything at all for them at all.
He had shown me from the very start of our visit that cats have so much
love to give to everyone and anything.
After my visit with Misfit, my views on cats and all other beings, human
and non-human, has changed. I feel very connected to all other cats, dogs, and
domestic or wild animals that deserve to have their freedom. Thinking twice about all the other animals in
the zoos that, unlike Misfit, have no chance of ever leaving their cages. How I
feel about a connection between human beings seems to be bittersweet. I do not know where Misfit came from, but it
is obvious that he once had a home, where someone once loved him. While I was
in the shelter I could not help but to be angry and hurt by all the owners who
had dropped their cats off in the shelter, “leaving behind the lovesome
creatures who would never leave them, had they once given them their hearts.”1
The more time I spent, the less sympathy I had towards human beings and
| the more I felt connected to non-human beings. |
As I walked
away leaving Misfit alone back in his cage, back without his freedom. I could
feel that I was letting him down. I felt to better than the person who may have
deserted him. It felt almost as he could talk and he was saying, “Do not, I
beg, abandon me, I have a sure fidelity. I’ll return your love for me, I have a
sense of true devotion.” 2. I did not want to leave him behind,
although I knew I could not take him home from the start, something he did not
know during our special time together. I left with melancholy, mixed feelings,
and hope that he would find the forever home he deserved with the love he
needs.


White Tiger
ReplyDeleteP2 Critiques:
Organization and Logical Order of the Prose: 5
Most parts of the essay flowed easily into the next, but the transition between his home and then to the shelter is abrupt and has no detail.
Diction 5
Minuets >> Minutes
Conciseness 4
Before I realized it Misfit reminded me of my spirit animal the White Tiger, who always taught and showed me new things. If they both taught you the same thing what were they? Directly state what it is white tiger showed you
- Eagle Owl
P1:
ReplyDeleteOrganization and Logical Order of the Prose: 5
I believe that you presented your main points in a logical and organized way.
Word Choice: 5
Nothing was striking either way. There are no mentionable instances where a different word is necessary, yet your word choice did not exactly excite me.
Conciseness: 5
Again, nothing mentionable in this area.
P2:
Organization and Logical Order of the Prose: 6
Word Choice: 6
Conciseness: 6
“I earn to see them all again, playtime was the most fun and mommy would always call us in and feed us after we were all worn out and tired.” “Earn” to “yearn.” Also, it would make more sense if this sentence was broken into two.
“I remember when Mr. took that video, we had so much fun playing together on the couch and it was so funny when mommy got up with us to play with us!” “With us” is a bit redundant.
“While I show them how I used to play with my siblings and toys at my old home.” This is a fragment.
“From the moment I first walked into the shelter I was very unsure about what to expect, unsure about how Misfit would react towards me, and unsure about how I might react towards him.” “Unsure about what to expect” could be omitted.
--Snow Hare
P1:
ReplyDeleteOrganization and Logical Order of the Prose 6
Diction 6
Conciseness 6 (in "air is so crisp, and even through my thick fur I can still feel", you should take out 'still' cause it seems repetitive after you say 'even')
P2:
Organization and Logical Order of the Prose: 6
The order of your prose is logical and just goes as time progresses as it should. well done.
Word Choice: 6
your word choice is mostly solid, but i point out one place that needs improvement below.
"From the moment I first walked into the shelter I was very unsure about what to expect, unsure about how Misfit would react towards me, and unsure about how I might react towards him." - The word "very" is pretty basic, you should try to use a better word.
Conciseness: 5
" I felt to better than the person who may have deserted him." - "to" needs to be taken out of this sentence. also, in THREE successive sentences you begin the sentence by saying "i feel." You should modify the sentences by and change up the starting of the sentences so it doesn't get too repetitive.
- Blue Jay
White Tiger
ReplyDeleteOrganization and Logical Order of the Prose
P1:5
Order was maintained throughout the whole essay, but i felt like the paragraphs could have been woven together better in order to hit the main points. A simple change to help this would to make your conclusion longer and more detailed. The conclusion is the last thing the reader reads so it is important to leave a strong impression in the conclusion. Your conclusion has a lot of potential, but I feel that you end it to early and can keep elaborating on your now open mindedness that the white tiger taught you.
P2: 6
I think you did a better job with organization this time. You flowed in and out between the reality of your visit and the feelings of Misfit.
Word Choice
P1: 5
I liked a lot of your word choices, I will recommend using stronger verbs instead of the normal (do, have, hear, look).
"The sun is setting on the horizon; I can see the last of the sunlight peaking through the dense trees" I would consider not using sun and sunlight right next to each other and using another word so it's not repetitive.
P2: 6
Again there are places where you could use stronger verbs, but you definitely improved in this category. For example, "only reach out to" you can use "I not only connect to Misfit.." Also, " but also spend real time with him" instead "but I could also, meet, play, and learn from him."
Conciseness
P1:5
Good job with this. I think a lot of things were straight to the point and you didn't dilute the main points by over wording it.
P2: 6
You improved, but I would rethink your opening sentence in order to grab the readers attention. Instead of "I could feel the weight of his disappointment deep inside as soon as I closed the latch on the door of his cage. " Try "I was immediately engulfed in the feeling of disappointment as soon as the cage door locked."
- Mountain Lion
Organization and Logical Order of Prose: 6
ReplyDeleteWord Choice: 6
Conciseness: 5
Overall I really enjoyed your paper, your experience at APA seemed like a good one. I think that your paper could be more concise. I like your word choice in your first paragraph. "as someone who never had a cat before and have had a few experiences of cats" this sentence in particular seems very odd to me, you could revise it and your point would be made much clearer.
- Lemur